24 February 2009 ~ 41 Comments

…And, oh yeah, one other reason I just LOVE Japan: The Girls!

Whenever I meet a new Japanese girl sooner or later they get around to asking me The Question: What are the differences between Japanese girls and American girls?

It’s a loaded question to be sure.

Back in 2003 when asked The Question, I’d look right into the doe-like eyes of my Josei (girl) du jour and say with a straight face, “Japanese women are sweeter,”  just to keep my answer simple and cajoling. A more thorough and frank answer would have been, ‘I think Japanese girls are the fucking bomb! In general, they’re prettier (in a prepubescent kind of way), sexier (in a dumb blond kind of way) and are just fiendin’ to be feminine, like overdeveloped (so to speak) pre-teens dressing up in Mama’s clothes. They’re passive and pliable and just dying to be led around and told what to do…which taps into some deep psycho-sexual sadistic thing dwelling in my psyche, I suspect. They taste great, they’re less filling, they smell better and are lower maintenance than their American counterparts. They require little to no game (effort) whatsoever…like Top Shelf call girls (even dressing the part) only relatively free of charge. They are awkward, giggling, confidence-free, drama-free aphrodisiacs incarnate…


Yes, I was in Nirvana, quite removed from reality. And this high lasted for years.

I remember this Twilight Zone episode where a bibliophile who was taunted and harassed for his passion by his wife and others was alone in a bank vault when a sudden nuclear war occurred. He survived to find he was the last man on earth…he was about to kill himself when he found that  the library had also survived the atomic bombing (somehow). He was happy as a pig in shit until, in a particularly cruel Rod Serling twist, he breaks his glasses. That’s fucked up, right?

Well, my glasses broke, too. The rose-tinted lenses through which I adored Japanese women, that is. (I’m actually managing to retain 20/20 vision against incredible odds.) Yes, now I can see the truth behind the curtain of stereotypes about them. At least, I think I can (-:

The truth: They’re just women. And women are women.

So, you heard Japanese girls are easy? You want to know if it’s true? The answers is an equivocal YES, they are! However, I submit, they are no easier than American girls under the same conditions.

Case and point: When I was a teenager growing up in Brooklyn I was a very sentimental lad, and had very romantic notions about the opposite sex. Love songs made my heart pound. Rejection brought me to tears. I wrote tear-stained  pages of poetry and short stories about love and loss. I had a stack of  notebooks filled with this stuff, not unlike the guy who had previously owned the house that Brad Pitt and Edward Norton were squatting in in ‘Fight Club” (“I am Jack’s medulla Oblongata” “I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise”) Mine was more like, “my heart is a red tear in the duct of a dead man.” That’s the kind of stuff I wrote after Kim tore me a new asshole.

Kim was my high school sweetheart, so to speak. She was this lightーskinned  cutie from Bed-Stuy who inexplicably managed to emerge from a Bed-Stuy housing project exuding a purity and sweetness so uncorrupted you’d think she was raised in, well, in Japan, or a Nunnery. Only problem was Kim’s high school sweetheart was not me, but this cat named Richard.  She just pal’d around with me. I was like her Forrest Gump. “Run, Loco, run.” Richard was a lying asshole, but we all were so that didn’t make him special. What did make him special was his heritage: he was half-Asian. Half Jamaican, half Chinese, and had those half slanted eyes and that half-straight hair, and was half as dark as me…and half the girls in the school went half-bananas for half a chance to run their fingers through it. He was my boy, until Kim went entirely  bananas over him. Then, naturally, I hated him.

So what he was exotic! Well, half-exotic, anyway. Who was the one writing poetry for Kim? I was. Did I give her my undivided attention? Well, when I wasn’t smoking blunts and drinking 40’s, you bet your ass I did. Did I make it clear that if this world were mine (yes, Luther inspired me) I’d place at her feet all that I own? Yes, indeed I did. But, did she give a damn after she met Richard? No. Did Richard give a shit about her? No. Did Richard talk to her on the phone every night and listen to her drone on and on about  totally mundane shit? No. Did Richard drag his ass to her church on Sundays (despite my abhorrence of all things religious)? Hell no. Did he hold her sheepskin coat when it was clearly too hot to be wearing one but they were fashionable so she wore it any fucking way? No.

Fucking Richard, lucky bastard…What the hell was my point? Oh, right! Sorry.

2628886Was Kim an easy mark for Richard? Yep! Goddamn pushover. Why? The same reason Japanese girls are easy. Here in Japan, I am, and virtually every foreign guy on this island is, Richard. We are all Richard. We are all lucky bastards. We are all exceptions and thus exceptional. We are a chance to feel different, to do things a little differently, to be a little different. We’re a ride on the wild side. A chance to learn about something aside from that which you know all too well. A chance for notoriety, if you desire it, or to say “fuck you” to a society you disdain. A chance to have a baby that looks like Richard.

Never underestimate the eroticism of exoticism.

And, on top of that, somebody’s been spreading rumors. A LOT of rumors. Somebody pumped Japanese girls heads so full of “information” about “me” that my actual input is redundant at best and counter productive at worst. They know all they believe they need to know about “me” to make an informed decision and, in a satisfactory number of cases, have somehow concluded “I” am indeed desirable.  I’ve spent a lot of energy and ink (so to speak) on the downside of being stereotyped, but relatively little on the upside. Not having to actually work for relatively quality girls (the stereotypes and rumors do all the work for me) is, for all intents and purposes, an upside (-;

Never underestimate human susceptibility to stereotype.

And, Kim, you heart breaker you…I hated you for a long time. But, now, I ain’t got nothing but love for you. I realize that anyone can be vulnerable to the exotic factor. Now that I live in a nation where a good number of the women are afflicted as you were, I am Loco’s complete lack of surprise that you let Richard run up in that when I offered you my eternal love. (-:

I sympathize and I forgive you





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41 Responses to “…And, oh yeah, one other reason I just LOVE Japan: The Girls!”

  1. ItAintEazy 25 February 2009 at 8:24 pm Permalink

    I dunno, I heard some horror stories of Japanese girls breaking a lot of dudes' hearts (I think you had a story about that too), but as you say, Japanese women are women too.

    • Locohama 25 February 2009 at 8:40 pm Permalink

      What's up EZ?? It's been a minute.
      Yes, they certainly are. What don't you know? You better act like you do (-;

      • Theodoric of York 25 February 2009 at 9:24 pm Permalink

        You nailed this right on my friend. But let's face it: despite the fact that you no longer have rose tinted glasses for Japanese chicks they still are the most delightful creatures on the planet. They look great young and – pound-for-pound – age incredibly well. That said, when it does come time for settling down and raising a brood, there is something just a tad off-kilter. So, from my perspective at least (40+ male with half a lifetime of experience in this area), they're absolutely fantastic specimens of the gentler gender right up until you say "I Do".

        • Locohama 25 February 2009 at 10:28 pm Permalink

          Yes, they are the gentlest if the the gentle gender pound for pound LMAO
          thanks for the shout Theodoric-san


          • nico poon 26 February 2009 at 11:14 am Permalink

            I stumbled upon your blog and you've written some good pieces of work. When reading this post I thought "yeah! I've seen/felt this too!". Japanese girls are definitely more tender than most women at first, but from personal and friends' experience once in a longer term deal it pretty much blends between cultures.

          • Locohama 26 February 2009 at 7:37 pm Permalink

            Yo Nico Poon, thanks for the shout!
            yes, there's a lot of blending going on in Yokohama (-;


  2. Bored in Kanagawa 25 February 2009 at 9:24 pm Permalink

    Dude, keep up the great stories! This website gets me through the day.

    • Locohama 25 February 2009 at 10:29 pm Permalink

      Thanks bored san, I will do it for you and the others like us who need getting through the day (-:


      • TLR 26 February 2009 at 1:27 am Permalink

        I concur with pretty much everything you said! I married J-Girl 16 years my junior and I am loving every minute of it!



        • Locohama 26 February 2009 at 7:54 pm Permalink

          Aloha TLR-san,
          Man, you sound like you live in paradise…hawaii and a young(er) nihonjin. You're a lucky man! (-;


  3. MO.nl 26 February 2009 at 1:02 pm Permalink

    Yo Loco,

    You did a fine Job ones again………… please give us the inside story about Nanpaa !!!!!!!! You got all the ins and outs about these girls……. 😉



    • Locohama 26 February 2009 at 7:38 pm Permalink

      Yo Mo! What's up?
      Nanpa eh? Well, let me think about it. Don't want to be broadcasting all my secrets ne (-;


  4. freedomwv 28 February 2009 at 3:49 am Permalink

    taste great, less filling. Very true most of the time.

    • Laura 4 March 2009 at 6:04 pm Permalink

      Hey Loco,
      I've been reading your blog for a while, and I thought this post was hilarious — so i sent it to my friends. Turns out they're all up in arms with feminist rage. You know, I kinda see where they're coming from, but I say to them that the fault isn't yours, it's the girls'. They let themselves be controlled ("led around") and treated a little like children. Oh well, if it's there, might as well take advantage of it right? I don't know, tell me if you think this article shows a tad too much machismo from your part ~


      • Locohama 4 March 2009 at 6:25 pm Permalink

        Hi Laura! Thanks for the shout and for spreading the word(-:

        Which Article are you talking about? my article? Machismo? Maybe a little but after spilling my guts about Kim wouldn't you say there's balance as well? no? 8-:
        Feminist rage, eh? Well tell them I'm sure the guys are lined up around the corner just dying to meet and marry girls who refused to be led around and treated like children and what not. They just ain't in Japan.
        Most of my friends are women…and not the one will ever admit to wanting to be led around, but sometimes i wonder… is it a front or not? I mean, if the right guy came along with the right look and the right portfolio and the right kind of charm…I don't know. They might go all japaneasy for him…lol

        btw, that was my previous impression of Japanese girls…currently I see them like I see most of the other women I've come across in my life. Similar objectives with only slightly different methods.


  5. shichi 1 March 2009 at 8:51 pm Permalink

    I find I can't date Japanese girls very easily. My Japanese isn't strong, their English usually isn't strong. It's hard to get past the face value of things when you are stuck in that situation =(

    And Loco, I'm definitely feeling you on the Kim situation. Reminded me of this: http://xkcd.com/513/

    In fact my Kim was actually named Kim too! Although I've gotten to know her guy a bit and he's not actually too bad of a guy, but it stings after you've poured out so much support and affection doesn't it. =(

    • Locohama 1 March 2009 at 9:08 pm Permalink

      Hey Shichi, thanks for the link (-;
      and hang in there…and I don't know if getting past face value is a worthwhile goal. Unless you become friends first. Like that guy on XKCD. The same thing will probably happen here too.


  6. shichi 1 March 2009 at 9:58 pm Permalink

    I just find its hard to continue to have interesting and deep conversations when there is a language barrier, even a slight one. I'll tell you what though, talking to Japanese people in english has really improved my english. I never used to speak properly, but had to start so they could understand me.

  7. Japan Australia 15 July 2011 at 1:08 pm Permalink

    Another great post!! This is one of the best reasons to be in Japan!!

    • Locohama 15 July 2011 at 3:42 pm Permalink

      Thanks Aussie! I have to agree

  8. The Ghost 16 July 2011 at 4:43 am Permalink

    J-gals are fun and a lot of them do tend to want to give gaijin a nice ride from time to time but they are still women. Women are pretty much the same all over the world.

    • Locohama 16 July 2011 at 8:23 am Permalink

      Practicing paraphrasing? Or tied one on last night? lol

  9. Thom 29 August 2011 at 9:33 pm Permalink

    This article made me laugh. I’m heading straight to Japan after another 6-12 month stint in Seoul to make funds. However, the girls’ pictures you’ve posted at the top and bottom of the article, with all that fake tan and Western styling, are the antithesis of the sort of Japanese girls I’d go for! Good that different men have different tastes I suppose…

  10. facesplaces 5 December 2011 at 3:39 pm Permalink

    I think that this proves that men think with their penises.
    If you think that they’re all giggling yellow barbies, you’re wrong. There’s lots of horror stories about Asian women, specifically Japanese post marital bliss. I mean, taking your children and never seeing them again horror.

    People are largely the same wherever you go, and women generally as well. Again, they have similar motives, but differ in tactics. In other words, the Japanese girls are playing you, gentlemen. As women and men alike tend to do with each other.

    And again, think of the language barrier. Are you having heart to heart conversations with these women or just surface relationships? Can you claim to know them as well as people compared to their American counterparts? I don’t think that you have a full or clear view of the situation at all, just a sex based, easy peasy variation. Knowing and judging people in their totality is something different altogether.

    I think that you run the risk of selling a lot of guys a dream or an idea about Japan (And one that demeans the people) that won’t be their experiences, or will be…until a point.

    Yeah, it’s funny, but think about it.

    • Locohama 5 December 2011 at 3:46 pm Permalink

      Geez, did you even read the piece??? If you did you clearly didn’t understand it! I think you should read it and THEN comment! thanks

  11. Dzunku 1 February 2012 at 4:20 pm Permalink

    No no no, you still don’t understand Japanese women!

    No one here has a clue of a life after marriage with a Japanese woman. She expects to take a control of home finance and much of decisions in family life. If you refuse to agree on this common arrangement in Japan, you are a bad husband who doesn’t trust your wife. All friends of her give the cold shoulders to you. You are expected to work long hours while your wife enjoys shopping and taking flower arrangement class and surrender your entire salary to her. You have to negotiate to raise your daily allowance for lunch and snack. You need to get her approval to buy an iPhone4S. Wake up from your dream, Loco-san.

    Japan is not a men’s paradise. Truth is: Japan is a women’s paradise! You are just seeing sweet baits.

    • Locohama 1 February 2012 at 4:46 pm Permalink

      Don’t you hate when people leave comments without reading a post? I do!

  12. Dave Collymore 7 February 2012 at 10:33 pm Permalink

    LOL!!!! Lovely post… and I see where people are either not reading your post in its entirety or don’t understand what you are trying to convey.

    I have had my fair/fear share of Japanese women and they are indeed just women (cuter maybe, depends on your taste) but generally the same. There are nice ones and there are terrible ones. I must admit though that in the marriage area I hear more horror stories than happy ones. Or it could be that the happy ones just don’t tell their stories.

  13. jonny 21 October 2012 at 12:26 pm Permalink

    That was a SICK read…

    i love japanese girls…everything you said was true.

  14. Tori 20 December 2012 at 12:34 am Permalink

    As a black woman, I have a mix of feelings about this article… Part of me gets it, you can only do what a woman allows so if these Japanese women find you so intriguing, go for it! I hear I should be in Italy, for the men love the Black woman… 🙂 However part of me is REALLY offended and I don’t know why… Awesome writing, but do you need to talk to someone about Kim? 🙂


  15. Tori 20 December 2012 at 12:37 am Permalink

    Oh yeah… I think Black women age better!!!

  16. Brittany 13 November 2013 at 10:24 pm Permalink

    That was a good analogy with the whole Kim thing. Because I do feel the same way, because a lot of Japanese guys like me except I’m a little more understanding and nicer about it though compared to Richard (feelings wise)! It’s easy to date when you have options 😉 ! However, I talk to a lot of Japanese men and a lot of them think that Japanese women are “Ok” even the ones that you think are cute in their eyes! Basically, there’s no respect nor appreciation for the women here. Of course a woman is going to jump into your arms when a lot of guys think you’re ok but yet you’re one of the few that think she is beautiful or give the man a chance 😉 . Wanna really impress them call them “Bijin” which means beautiful 😉

  17. LoveInJapan 10 March 2014 at 11:04 pm Permalink

    I’ve heard in general that most Japanese women and girls tend to be attracted to foreigners, especially Western guys for that matter. That is not always true but I’ve seen and heard enough cases to bring up a valid point.

    • Locohama 10 March 2014 at 11:55 pm Permalink

      You mean attracted to white guys, and no it’s not true. It just seems like a lot because there are so few foreigners here. In other words, if 2% of Japanese women were open to a relationship with a foreigner! you wouldn’t call that most, right? But that would equate to a lot of women for every foreign guy here…and put most of them in one tiny area of Tokyo, and it might even look like a target rich environment. It’s an illusion, but potentially a lovely one.

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