19 January 2010 ~ 6 Comments

Stop Whining pt.1

Life’s what you make it…stop whining baby…”

From “A place in heaven” by Prince

“Stop your whining…and face it:  you’re a big black angry man in a little yellow xenophobic land,” he said, with a self-satisfied smile indicating he thought he was being clever, “and you’re going to have to accept that fact, or just leave.”

“I’m gonna go with option three!”

“I didn’t give a third option.”

“I KNOW,” I snapped. “But, I thought of one all on my own. Is that ok with you? Who initiated you the brains of this outfit anyway?”

“You did, matter of fact!” he retorted. “Last time, when you said ‘if I ever start sounding like one of those ex-pats who sit in bars all night complaining about Japanese this and Japanese that, please bitch slap some sense into me!’”

“Fuck, is that a quote?” I asked. His impersonation of me was right on; like looking in the mirror…well almost. After all, he is white, bespectacled, balding, and I got him by a good 9 inches in height and a solid 75lbs in weight. Otherwise, he was dead-on.

“I could tell you the date you said it, too,” he smiled. “It was 3 years ago…today!”

“Well, a lot has changed in 3 years,” I said, overstating it a bit. “I’m not the same person I was then.”

“Of course not…you’ve changed a lot! You’re practically Japanese now.”

“Fuck you!” I said with just enough venom to let him know I resented his remark but wasn’t bent outta shape or anything.

A waitress appeared, smiling and bowing, “Sumimasen…O-kawari desuka?” (Would you like another cup of coffee?)

“Unn, O-kawari desu. Ato…Chocoleeto Caaaakee  wo kudasai.” (I sure would, and also a slice of chocolate cake.)

“Nihongo ga jouzu desune…” (Your Japanese is great!)

“Chigaimasu ne. Mada umakunai desu yo.” (No, it isn’t. It’s still pretty bad.)

She walked away, glancing back, flirting, as I suspect they are paid to do, but even more so than usual. I turned back to Joe and said, “I think she was flirting. What do you think?”

He didn’t respond. He was just watching me.

“Do you really think I’m angry?”


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6 Responses to “Stop Whining pt.1”

  1. mwerneburg 20 January 2010 at 12:15 am Permalink

    Three-years-ago you came up with some good advice. I'm keen to see where this article goes. 8)

  2. Zen 20 January 2010 at 8:32 pm Permalink


  3. katiesjapanfiles 20 January 2010 at 8:40 pm Permalink

    I agree with yourself from 3 years ago 🙂 But has the complaining evolved into protectiveness of Japan from other foreigners? Maybe in 3 years you'll blog that you heard some rookie gaijin in a bar slagging off Japan and bitchslapped him.

  4. Moogiechan 21 January 2010 at 10:28 am Permalink

    Now you know how a woman feels when you tell her she's turning into her mother…

  5. freedomwv 23 January 2010 at 10:15 am Permalink

    It must have been one of those days.

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