LOCO IN YOKOHAMA
FADE IN TITLE
We’re gonna need another chikan!
INT. SUBWAY CAR-DAY
We move through a crowded subway car, every seat filled, every inch of standing room occupied (though not sardine-like), every face: Asian. This crowding is par for the course, judging from the stoic nonchalance on most faces. Salarymen reading manga, Office ladies applying makeup or writing text messages on their cellphones, school kids playing PSPs, school girls in sailor uniforms chatting and giggling, as the train RUMBLES and RATTLES along the tracks. Above a door an electronic sign reads in red lights racing across the screen, first in Japanese, then in English: Next Stop: Yokohama. An ELECTRONIC FEMALE VOICE from loud speakers around the car announces the same.
We see one Japanese woman, YUMI ONO, thirty-something, attractive, wearing headphones, seated with a large fashionable purse on her lap. On closer examination we see that the ornament on the front of the bag actually conceals a camera lens, aimed straight ahead! There’s also a large brooch on the lapel of her jacket- which is actually a microphone in disguise we see in close-up. Standing before her we see the shapely bare legs of a girl in a high school uniform. They belong to TOMOMI MATSUDA- long bleach blond hair, dark mascara’d eyes, could be 15, could be 25, hard to tell- her plaid skirt is hiked up to just below her pantie line, her blouse bulges with voluptuousness. She is gleefully reading a message on her cellphone.
Over her shoulder, very close behind her is a Salaryman, NAOKI YAMADA, thirty-something, in a dark suit, kinda funny looking, and staring a little too intently at the ventilation system overhead.
Standing beside Tomomi on her right and to the front right of Naoki is the only black man in this sea of Asian faces, LOCO, thirty-something, handsome, sharply dressed in business attire, burly compared to the stature of the people around him, looking down and to his left at something that annoys him. In his hand is a briefcase. On closer examination we see that it also has been rigged with a camera. And the camera lens is trained on Tomomi and Naoki, from the side-rear angle.
Yumi is trying to glance inconspicuously inside her purse at the camera’s viewfinder, auto-focusing on Loco. She’s doing this with the poise of someone who has done this before. Satisfied with the picture she steals a glance at Loco, and her expression is one of pride. Loco glances at Yumi’s camera’s trajectory, appears satisfied, and then at her face, catching her glance. He nods and gives a quick wink. Yumi tucks in her chin and whispers.
(speaking softly into her microphone / brooch)
Loco in Yokohama. Scene 13. Cock-blocking Chikan.
Take 3. Camera, Speed. Action!
She glances back at Loco and winks. Loco returns the wink. THE MAN sitting beside her glances at her. Her smile vanishes.
(in Japanese, with subtitles)
I can’t believe this is really happening! We’re really
doing this! We’re actually making a movie!
It’s like a dream…someone else’s dream… His dream.
And, it feels absolutely amazing! I’ve never been so
excited in my life! And I’ve never seen him so…so happy!
Loco, looking annoyed, steals a glance at Naoki, who notices and once again shifts his attention from Tomomi to the ventilators overhead. Loco checks his watch, then signals to Yumi to adjust her camera. He does this with a scratch of his nose, clearly another prearranged signal. She turns and tilts her handbag /camera’s angle up at Tomomi’s and Naoki’s faces and zooms out for a wider view. Naoki glances at Loco and Loco gives him a wink.
Tomomi, smiling, suddenly jolts, and almost drops her cellphone. Her smile vanishes replaced by vague concern. She takes a quick glance over her shoulder at Naoki- who is still studying the vents. She shrugs a little and turns back to her texting.
We see her skirt now, from the rear, rising slowly, revealing her frilly baby-blue panties beneath and a shapely plump ass. Naoki’s hand appears. He strokes her ass first with his fingers and then begins gently rubbing it. Tomomi looks up and her face registers mild confusion, like she’d suddenly had a curious thought or was trying to remember which shoe store was it that sold those pumps she wanted to buy. Then she continues texting as if nothing is happening. Yumi watches Tomomi’s actions and smiles approvingly. She’s nailed it! She sneaks another peek at Loco and nods.
NARRATOR (VO )
We spend so much time together these days…he takes
me everywhere with him. We’ve never been closer!
Yumi aims her camera bag at Loco’s face. Loco is watching what’s happening below beside him, continued displeasure at it.
The man sitting beside Yumi is watching her bag’s curious movements with increased interest now. He suspects something. Yumi, aware of her surroundings, notices his glance and reaches inside the bag, takes out a mirror and starts checking her make-up. Loco notices the man beside Yumi. He comprehends the problem and her clever ruse. The man’s concern appears to have been alleviated by Yumi’s quick thinking, though, and he returns to his Manga. She puts the mirror away and once again aims the camera at Loco. He resumes his demeanor of the man infuriated by witnessing a perverted act…
We’re like this team, now. We’re in-sync…
We all know our roles and we’re all committed.
Working on this film is tapping into parts of my
character I haven’t seen in years, stuff I thought
had long since dried up…Stuff, I realize now, I missed.
Yumi aims the camera back at Tomomi’s waist, as she starts to squirm a little. Then, her face starts to redden, and she appears to be holding her breath. Loco notices this and is perturbed by it. Clearly this is not what he was expecting to see. He nods as stealthily as he can at Yumi, conveying the message to get Tomomi’s attention. Yumi gently taps Tomomi with her foot. Tomomi doesn’t respond. Her eyes are closed! Yumi taps a little harder. Still no register. Naoki’s eyes are closed, too. He appears to be in a state of bliss. Yumi looks back at Loco and shrugs.
But, honestly, this has been a terrifying experience, for me.
He’s American, so he has this ridiculous sense of adventure
in his blood. But, despite his influence, I am and will
always be Japanese. So, the unpredictability, and
the danger of what we’re doing…well, sometimes…
Loco glares at Tomomi and moves towards her. He leans close to Tomomi’s ear.
Then abruptly Tomomi opens her eyes and wheels on Naoki…
What the fuck is your problem???
Naoki’s eyes pop open and he looks a little disoriented.
Wha? What happened?
You’re supposed to rub my ass,
Don’t “Eeee” me, you…fucking…The script says rub
my ass! Not put your finger in my panties!
I don’t understand! What are you talking about?
The other commuters appear to be unaware of what’s happening, but we get the sense everyone is curious, if not totally aware. Loco steps between the two of them.
Tomomi, I was watching the whole thing.
He didn’t deviate from the script at all!
You just defend him cuz you…he’s your friend,
deshou? You don’t give shit about me! All you
care is your fucking movie!
Tomomi turns away and looks in the opposite direction, like she’s looking for someone. Loco glances at Naoki, who’s demeanor has now changed from shame to furious.
I can’t take it anymore!! I quit! I’m so sorry, Loco.
I really wanted to help you, but this…crazy…woman…
Tomomi, upon hearing this, turns and starts to spring at Naoki like a mad dog, but a hand from the crowd grabs her arm from behind just in time and swings her around to face him. It’s a Japanese guy, looking fresh from the tanning salon or surfing the North Shore in Waikiki, like a member of “Exile”, tall for Japanese, about 6’0, well built, baseball cap on backwards, wearing sunglasses and headphones and carrying a hardly concealed digital video camera in his knapsack. He’s dressed like a “party person” from a glam hip hop video. This is JUNICHIRO SASAKI.
Naoki had leapt away, smashing into some of the passengers.
All of you are nuts! I’m outta here!
The train has pulled into the station, and stopped. There is a shuffle as people begin to position for departure. Naoki storms away and joins them. Loco turns after him.
Naoki, wait! Come on man, I just need
a couple more…shit! Great!
Naoki’s gone, vanished into the crowd of disembarking passengers. Loco wheels on the remaining members of his crew, upset. Tomomi is telling Junichiro what happened and Yumi is watching, looking like she wishes she could disappear.
Junichiro looks at Loco, in disbelief. Loco shrugs.
I didn’t see anything off-script. I mean, come on,
that’s my boy! We play ball together every
weekend. He wouldn’t try no shit like that.
Junichiro turns back to Tomomi, doubtfully.
Don’t look at me like that! I know what he did.
And, he know too! That’s why he run away!
He ran cuz you embarrassed him! But,
anyway, what’s done is done.
You think you know Japanese more than me?
Cuz you live here a few years? I know Japanese!
I am Japanese. Only Japanese know Japanese!
Tomomi takes a peek at Yumi, seeking agreement. Yumi looks torn but leaning towards concurring. Loco notices this but says nothing. He takes a quick peek at where Naoki had gotten off the train.
Regardless, the fact still remains: we’re
gonna need another chikan!
I was thinking, though…I could perv her, yo!
All I need is a disguise or something.
Shit, we all look alike anyway.
Nah…Jun, your body language is all wrong.
You scream Gaijin. Japanese would never believe
you are a chikan. Plus, your face is mad distinctive.
You got way too much Nubian up in you, bruh.
Word is bond? Damn, Man, that’s the coolest
shit anyone’s ever said to me.
Junichiro looks at Loco with unabashed affection.
Great. So you just gonna take
his word? Arrrgh!
Chill out, Momo! Like the man said,
what’s done is done. We still gotta
movie to finish, and we need this scene.
Exactly!, So, let’s just check what we got first. We might
have all we need, right? If not, with some creative editing
and a little digital work, maybe we can finish it in a studio.
That’s why I love this guy!
Motherfucking Optimist Prime.
Worst case, I’m sure I got another
friend or two willing to…
…willing to squeeze my girl’s ass for
beers and boiled soy beans?
Loco laughs. Yumi hides her smile behind her hand.
(angrily, at Junichiro and Loco)
Fuck you…and fuck you too, Loco!
Damn, Momo, take it easy. We’re just
messing with you.
Come on, y’all. Let’s get off this train.
INT. YOKOHAMA STATION – MORNING
Yokohama station is a major destination, so the train has almost emptied, and the four of them emerge from the train last. They stop on the platform for a moment. Tomomi allows herself to be consoled by Junichiro and he smiles his appreciation. Loco wraps his arm around Yumi and she looks up at the joyful expression on his face. Camera closes in on Yumi’s face.
But, life is an adventure, isn’t it?
My adventure with him began two years ago,
but I have no idea when it will end. What I do
know is that right now I am in Yokohama, with
my Oyaji, and his crazy friends. (Beat) And I am happy!
As hundreds of commuters file by, the four of them stand beneath the 横浜 YOKOHAMA Station sign. A motley crew and, yet, a team.
ROLL OPENING CREDITS
LOCO IN YOKOHAMA PRODUCTIONS
A film by Loco & Jun
LOCO IN YOKOHAMA