07 May 2010 ~ 13 Comments

Jibun de Yatte! (Do it yourself!)

At a maid cafe in Akihabara with my boy: (This is translated from the Japanese in the rough English equivalent)

Waitress:  Welcome to Nozomi’s. Two of y’all? Sit wherever the hell you want.

My boy: Cool, we’ll sit over there…

Waitress: Suit yourself.

Me: ???????

My boy: What you standing there for? come on!

We sit down at a table in the corner.

Me: What the hell is her problem?

My boy: What? What you mean?

Me: She…

Waitress returns. Tosses a couple of menus on the table.

Waitress: Mizu iru? (Y’all want water?)

Me: ?????

My boy: Ummm yes please.

Waitress: Aight, I’ll be back when I get back. Hayaku kimete yo (Make up your minds!)

She stomps away.

My boy: she’s cute.

Me: What kind of place is this????

My boy: It’s a maid cafe, yo.

Me: Yeah, but…

Waitress returns…

Waitress: Awright, what do y’all want? Everything’s good so don’t ask for recommendations.

Me: ?????

My boy: Would you mind bringing us a couple Heinekens?

Waitress sucks her teeth and walks away. Comes back with a couple of glasses, 2 bottles of Heineken and a bottle opener. Slams each of these articles on the table respectively. She held the opener in her hand, glanced at the bottles then at us and said:

Waitress: Jibun de yatte (Do it yourself!)

Then she tosses the opener on the table.

Me: Where are the cameras?

My boy: What?

Me: We gotta be on TV! On one of them crazy Japanese comedy shows.

My boy: Nah, they always like this here.

Waitress returns. I grabbed the menu quick and glance at it.

Me: Yeah, let me get Omelet with rice.

My boy: Yeah same here.

Waitress: That’s all?

Me: Yes, that’ll be all.

Waitress writes it down, sucks her teeth and walks away like she had better things to do than be bothered with us. Another waitress at another table was tossing shit around and slamming shit on the tables.

Me: I get it! You brought me to some kind of S&M spot, you fucking freak!

My boy: They call it Tsundere. I dig em. Reminds me of  back home.

Me:  It does kinda doesn’t it? Back in Brooklyn in some church restaurant where the food is great and the staff are all fat and fed up.

My boy: Exactly.

Waitress returns with the order, slams the plates on the table. she stands over us with a squeeze bottle of ketchup in her hand.

Crayon Shin Chan

Waitress: Nani kaku? (What do you want me to draw?)

Me: Wha??

My boy: She means on the omelet. She’s gonna draw a face with the ketchup or something.

Me: Oh….um, can you draw Anpanman?

Waitress: Muri! (Impossible)

She’s starts drawing Crayon Shin Chan (actually my favorite anime). She doesn’t even ask my boy. She just starts ketchup painting on his food. His was Pikachu.

Waitress: Tabeowatta nara oshiete yo (When you finish eating let me know)

She walks away.

Me: This is pretty cool. Get sick to death of the general over politeness. This is a nice break from it. She hasn’t even bowed once.

My boy: Yeah…I come here like once a month.


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13 Responses to “Jibun de Yatte! (Do it yourself!)”

  1. WC 8 May 2010 at 4:33 am Permalink

    Haha, that reminds me of when I was in California. There was a restaurant near me that looked a bit run down, but I figured it was a 'mom and pop' place. (Turns out to be a chinese-run place that also serves some Western food, like turkey with mashed potatoes… Very odd combination.)

    I go in, and I'm the only white boy there. Sure enough, the waitress is as rude as she can be without actually starting anything. I eat (food is pretty good), tip, and leave.

    Repeat. About 3 times. Her attitude still hasn't changed. I begin to like it. More repeats… I really like the place now. But then… I dunno, maybe she softened… But she wasn't nearly so rude any more. I was kind of sad then.

  2. Chris B 8 May 2010 at 4:55 am Permalink

    "Waitress returns. I grabbed the menu quick and glance at it."

    I worked at an Italian restaurant (Sicilian) "Simone's pizzeria and restaurante" while going to college. He was a "retired businessman" ***cough** from the Boston area. Some of his "business" partners used to come out to Hawaii and talk about…..?

    He died of a heart attack or got whacked in Florida a few years later. He closed the place in a single night and it was all about his "business". Anyway to make a long story slightly longer.

    I don't wanna eat any food cooked by someone who might be sweet on the now pissed waitress.

    Like Public Enemy said:

    Cant truss it 😉

  3. Jeff 8 May 2010 at 9:02 am Permalink

    That cafe sounds funny. I think i'd crack up laughing just experiencing it!

  4. David LaSpina 8 May 2010 at 3:45 pm Permalink

    Heh, wow that would really be a different experience. It would kinda remind me of home… I've been in Japan long enough to almost forget the bad service and rudeness.

  5. shockerz 9 May 2010 at 5:58 am Permalink

    I would like to have a taste of that service. It does sound really exciting because I have not met any tsundere waitress yet nor maid.

  6. Locohama 10 May 2010 at 5:50 pm Permalink

    @WC Thanks for the comment yo!Yeah, I love atitude!

    @ChrisB, thanks for the shout yo…not sure what the connection is but I'm sure it just went over my head (-:

    @Jeff, yeah if i had known what to expect i probably would have laughed a bit more.

    @david, yep, it was home sweet home. If it weren't so expensive and in otakuville I would probably become a regular. Thanks for the shout

    @shockerz It's great, highly recommend it…akihabara is replete with them. Just make sure its tsudere and not the futsu ones

  7. Jordan 28 May 2010 at 7:27 am Permalink

    Hahaha. I love it. I'll have to go to this place some time. I've been to the cutsy maid cafes and frankly they're a bit creepy.

    Give me that attitude lady!

  8. Locohama 28 May 2010 at 8:45 am Permalink

    Hey Jordan! Yeah, it's a must-have experience! Nothing like some refreshing sass from a J-girl. Thanks for the shout yo!

  9. Kim 10 June 2010 at 2:46 am Permalink

    haha, i don't believe you. This cannot be in Japan ever! I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall.

  10. Anonymous 28 May 2011 at 1:41 am Permalink

    Wow!  I want to go just to see what it’s like.  I am definitely used to the whole polite, bowing, accommodating Japanese worker/waitress.  Good stuff, Loco!

    • Locohama 28 May 2011 at 11:27 am Permalink

      Yeah the waitress was refreshingly rude lol Thanks

  11. Anonymous 28 May 2011 at 11:36 am Permalink

    Must go there. I'll bring her a whip and a latex catsuit.

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