Waitress: Welcome to Nozomi’s. Two of y’all? Sit wherever the hell you want.
My boy: Cool, we’ll sit over there…
Waitress: Suit yourself.
My boy: What you standing there for? come on!
We sit down at a table in the corner.
Me: What the hell is her problem?
My boy: What? What you mean?
Waitress returns. Tosses a couple of menus on the table.
Waitress: Mizu iru? (Y’all want water?)
My boy: Ummm yes please.
Waitress: Aight, I’ll be back when I get back. Hayaku kimete yo (Make up your minds!)
She stomps away.
My boy: she’s cute.
Me: What kind of place is this????
My boy: It’s a maid cafe, yo.
Me: Yeah, but…
Waitress: Awright, what do y’all want? Everything’s good so don’t ask for recommendations.
My boy: Would you mind bringing us a couple Heinekens?
Waitress sucks her teeth and walks away. Comes back with a couple of glasses, 2 bottles of Heineken and a bottle opener. Slams each of these articles on the table respectively. She held the opener in her hand, glanced at the bottles then at us and said:
Waitress: Jibun de yatte (Do it yourself!)
Then she tosses the opener on the table.
Me: Where are the cameras?
My boy: What?
Me: We gotta be on TV! On one of them crazy Japanese comedy shows.
My boy: Nah, they always like this here.
Waitress returns. I grabbed the menu quick and glance at it.
Me: Yeah, let me get Omelet with rice.
My boy: Yeah same here.
Waitress: That’s all?
Me: Yes, that’ll be all.
Waitress writes it down, sucks her teeth and walks away like she had better things to do than be bothered with us. Another waitress at another table was tossing shit around and slamming shit on the tables.
Me: I get it! You brought me to some kind of S&M spot, you fucking freak!
My boy: They call it Tsundere. I dig em. Reminds me of back home.
Me: It does kinda doesn’t it? Back in Brooklyn in some church restaurant where the food is great and the staff are all fat and fed up.
My boy: Exactly.
Waitress returns with the order, slams the plates on the table. she stands over us with a squeeze bottle of ketchup in her hand.
Waitress: Nani kaku? (What do you want me to draw?)
My boy: She means on the omelet. She’s gonna draw a face with the ketchup or something.
Me: Oh….um, can you draw Anpanman?
Waitress: Muri! (Impossible)
She’s starts drawing Crayon Shin Chan (actually my favorite anime). She doesn’t even ask my boy. She just starts ketchup painting on his food. His was Pikachu.
Waitress: Tabeowatta nara oshiete yo (When you finish eating let me know)
She walks away.
Me: This is pretty cool. Get sick to death of the general over politeness. This is a nice break from it. She hasn’t even bowed once.
My boy: Yeah…I come here like once a month.