10 March 2011 ~ 9 Comments

On violence begetting violence

Just read a great post on violence over at my man Chris’ blog, Confessions of a badboy in Japan. If you don’t know his work, better get over there, peep the post, and drop a comment if you’re so inclined.

Here’s a link to the post: Violence (It’s what you’d love to do)

See, this is why I love this guy!

He makes me really friggin’ feel and think, just what an aspiring writer needs. This cat has a swagger that’s staggering. Audacious. Unflinching. I’m awed. What an inspiration!

Anyway, here’s what I had to say in response:

See, this is the kind of shit that makes me love you while at the same time gives me pause about you, yo!

I’m that mofo repressing really violent feelings and channeling that shit into creativity, and I fear (probably without warrant) that if I should give in to my violent impulses I might lose the desire or the ability to get it out in writing.

Beyond that, I grew up with two older brothers who were Mike Tysons on the streets without gloves, and there were no fucking rules. What? The guy’s bigger? Grab a garbage can! What, he has a gun? Run! Hope that mofo chases you, and catch his ass ninja style while he’s trying to be the Sundance Kid.

Come home bloodied, high on the adrenalin of having robbed an armored truck and escaped custody by beating a cop’s ass not three blocks away from the crib…take a shower, change your clothes, go back out. Don’t see him again for a month or so until I go bring him some long  johns and commissary money (in jail), kicking it with him, watching his disfigurement because once the cops caught up with him he’d gotten it for whipping their colleague’s ass.

The guy he smashed with the garbage can? He can’t get his hands on him cuz he’s locked up but he knows who his little brother is ( Loco) and though he’s a “civilian” he better watch his fucking back on the Ave, cuz if  I see him, he’s gonna catch one. So, I’m walking around with a hoodie listening to the streets (cuz they be talking.)

All this shit is in my head! And most of it insists violence begets violence and once you open up that can of worms it’s on like you’d never believe.

I know I have a charmed fucking life, having grown up amid the craziest shit and came out virtually blemish-less with two fights under my belt. And I believe part of the reason that has occurred is because I forsake violence for violence sake as a primal directive, and did something for my karma and kept the violence around me from impacting me significantly.

 I’m probably wrong. It’s probably just a superstition, but it has saved many a Japanese man from getting the ass whipping my soul informs me he deserves and needs, for fear of setting in motion a cycle of violence that, due to my charmed fucking existence, I’m probably ill-prepared to handle.

Feel me?

But every time I read your comments and now your posts, you make me feel like a ridiculous fucking pussy, a goddamn masochist, non-violent to a cowardly fault. After this post god help me, I hope I don’t go out and smash the next fucker who trespasses on my good nature and karma inspired restraint!

Anyway, thought I’d get that off my chest.

Thanks Chris! Just what I needed. In my book, it’s almost as good as drop kicking some asshole who needs it.

Almost…

Loco

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9 Responses to “On violence begetting violence”

  1. FuKnWitU 10 March 2011 at 7:32 pm Permalink

    Thanks for this one bro! (I'm in between classes so I'll be back 🙂

    Your "I am a…." series has always been the original inspiration. Self facing and unflinching self analysis of yourself or others.

    Still my favorite writing of all time.

    No shit.
    That shit was THAT fucking inspiring!!!

  2. Caroline Josephine 10 March 2011 at 9:12 pm Permalink

    You and Chris are like, the images of the big brothers I wish I'd had but never got. I cannot relate on the same macho level that the two of you can because I'm not a man, but as I said in my comment to Chris' post… I grew up around burly men who knew how to use their fists and other weapons. I admire a man who knows how to fight, but als who knows how to use his words. You both are awesome!

  3. RKat 10 March 2011 at 10:09 pm Permalink

    You're not a pussy (hate saying that word) for not fighting. Physical violence is terrible, injuries last and so do scars. Violence destroys. It's much better to create and love. I'm not taking anything away from the Bad Boy because he was being honest and from the heart. I've been beaten many times, had to walk around with black eyes, stitches, fucked up hearing and bruised jaw, all that stuff. I looked shameful and felt ashamed, and I'd be lying if I didn't say it's still hard to trust people. I know BB wasn't talking about beating women or anything like that, all I'm saying is I agree more with your sentiments.

  4. Rose 11 March 2011 at 3:19 am Permalink

    Violence is *an* answer, not the *only* answer, and you're right to fear repercussions – direct and karmically – because what you put out there comes back to you. As I commented on Chris' blog, I understand the urge for violence but I fear it, too, as do many people (especially women).

    Would that we could all just exist as common human beings… that is, humans, being… and truly understand one another without the need for confusing words or violence.

  5. Will 11 March 2011 at 1:16 pm Permalink

    “Knowledge without miles equals bullshit”- Henry Rollins

    I’ve got a lot of respect for you folks… Loco, FuKnWitU, and RKat.
    You’ve all been through some stuff.

    Don’t know if this makes sense, but here goes.

    The horror of violence is something I do not pretend to understand or like, but that doesn’t make it just go away.

    My interest in Badboy’s blog stems from Loco’s (the series and the comments) and both have led me to a few other bolgs as well. But these are the two I find myself thinking about the most, usually on my way in to work. I’m reading again. First was “Working with Warriors” and now, at this moment, a crawl through “Beloved”.

    What has kept me coming back is maybe what is in the ‘raw’ part, the thoughts along with the feelings (not always in that order). I don’t think these blogs are picking at scabs.

    When it comes to fear in the sense of walking down the street, being in a crowded area, or even alone on a trail, I tend take notice of my immediate surroundings and try to adjust accordingly. There’s supposedly a flight-or-fight response that each of us is more of less prone to, how we tend to deal with stress. As a kid, when set upon by a pack of dogs, I can recall a bit of blur during the flight and remember later being embarrassed that my pants were wet. Some people can’t stand spiders, for others snakes…I still don’t trust German Shepherds.

    Although I can’t say that I ‘enjoy’ reading bolgs that are raw, I think I am starting to realize the value (on a number of levels) and maybe even understand why I come back to them – of which there are only a handful, if that.

    One of the things I keep thinking about is the use of the terms ‘good’ and ‘bad’ when referring to people. As if there is any such thing. I have come to reflect upon the hazards of label a person as ‘good’. Many ‘good’ people are often quite capable of doing great harm that somehow gets excused because the damage is not immediately physically registered as would be through physical contact. “But he’s a ‘good’ guy, he couldn’t possibly…” and that smile, followed by, “Trust me.” Damage from the slow violence seems to be the most devastating to people, because that type of violence is often unseen and hard to grasp. If you’ve ever found yourself doing something or about to do something that you don’t recall agreeing to – that’s what I’m talking about.

    Back to the raw. Very few people, it seems, are willing to look at themselves, warts and all. We’ve all got our shadows.

    When I do eventually put up a blog, I’ll definitely put you three in my acknowledgements.

    I will continue to stick around, not because I am anticipating a crash, but because there’s something here. And it’s happening, right now.

    That’s it for the moment.

    • FuKnWitU 11 March 2011 at 1:42 pm Permalink

      You need a blog my man. Your comments on my posts are sometimes better than my posts….fucking serious thoughts goin on in you.

  6. Bored in Kanagawa 11 March 2011 at 3:22 pm Permalink

    Once again a great post. Because of your blog I've started trolling on the Bad Boy's as well. I've read every entry on his blog so far and I haven't posted a comment yet. I love both of your writing styles and think I'm a mixture of the two of you. The younger me up until my wife got pregnant 7 years ago I was Chris all fucking in, but now i'm trying to be Loco and man let me tell you it's hard ass work. Loco you writing gives me focus and the inspiration to keep on the straight and narrow and Chris' writing makes me feel like a punk bitch living a lie. I'll get into this more later.

  7. Will 11 March 2011 at 6:48 pm Permalink

    Hope you are okay with all this shaking going on.

  8. Produce Stand 12 March 2011 at 3:52 am Permalink

    Ahh violence. My father was never patient, he used to beat my sister's and I for everything we did. Everything. He's not a bad man, he did a lot for us, he's still doing a lot for us. He thought he was helping us I guess. But I can't talk to him like other people can talk to their fathers, I can't tell him who I really am because I'm scared he'll get violent. I can't talk to other people, because I get scared they'll put me down, or yell or hit me. I get anxious when I'm in crowds because my life was built around fear, I'm scared of driving and living because I'm scared something or someone will hurt me.
    Violence is like a virus, you set it off on people and you don't know how far it will spread. You hit someone, they might hit you back, or maybe they'll hit someone else to take out their frustrations. Or maybe that person will let it feaster on the inside till they're consumed my fear. I don't know.
    But I do love Chris's blog, I get excited every time he posts shit. Haha, what can I say, who doesn't like a bad boy?


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