20 September 2012 ~ 29 Comments

Conversations 2012 #2: You Must Have Many Japanese Girlfriends!

20120920-095442.jpgThe following conversation took place today in a taxi cab on the way to work. The door of the cab sprung open at my approach and as I slid in…

Taxi Driver: Yokohama junior high school, right?
Me: That’s right?
TD: (satisfied smile in the mirror) Its hot again today, isn’t it?
Me: Yes, very hot.
TD: Your Japanese is great!
Me: Thanks.
TD: How long have you lived in Japan?
Me: Eight years.
TD: That explains it. Where do you come from?
Me: America.

TD: Ah, the States…
(I pull out my iPad and start checking my Facebook)
TD: Are you married?
Me: No.
TD: I see…you are very cool! You must have many Japanese girlfriends.
(I glance up from my iPad to see if he is eying me in the mirror. He is.)
Me: As a matter fact, I do! How did you know?
TD: Foreigners love Japanese girls…I hear.
Me: I can’t speak for all foreigners but I can’t get enough of Japanese girls. I have so many I don’t even have the energy to walk. That’s why I take taxis! Lucky for you, ne.
(The mirror wasn’t enough. He had to turn around and give me a look over his shoulder at that…and laughs)
TD: Is that right?
Me: No, I’m just joking.
TD: Eeeeeee! hahahahaha you are very funny!
Me: I have my moments.
TD: But you do like Japanese girls, right?
Me: Not really. Actually I kinda hate them. To tell you the truth, I kinda hate all Japanese people. Even you!
(He laughs like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard)
TD: You are really funny!
Me: I get that all the time.



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29 Responses to “Conversations 2012 #2: You Must Have Many Japanese Girlfriends!”

  1. chris 20 September 2012 at 11:51 pm Permalink

    TD: Foreigners love Japanese girls…I hear.

    I woulda said:

    “Somebodies gotta love em’..Little yellow dicks are as dead as Disco homie….now gimmie your fucking money!!!!….nah just messin with ya….bout the hold-up” 😉

    • Locohama 21 September 2012 at 12:37 am Permalink

      Sheeeet, I could have used the money today!
      Thanks for the shout yo!

  2. ferret 21 September 2012 at 1:36 pm Permalink

    I thought you meant “you should have a lot of Japanese girlfriends”.
    Is that good advice, anyway?
    Still like to catch up with you for a drink, or several, if we’re ever in Japan at the same time!

    • Locohama 21 September 2012 at 10:22 pm Permalink


  3. Rude Boy Abroad 21 September 2012 at 3:08 pm Permalink

    “Yeah, tons!” Lol, I’m totally using that.

    • Locohama 21 September 2012 at 10:17 pm Permalink

      Feel free to. (-;

  4. Cheeseburger 21 September 2012 at 9:44 pm Permalink

    I don’t get it.

    The driver was friendly, chatty and complimenting you.

    Why did you act like a jerk?

    • Locohama 21 September 2012 at 10:16 pm Permalink

      “I don’t get it”
      some things are just difficult to get, and if you don’t get this you probably don’t get a lot of stuff.
      Peep this site: http://www.debito.org
      He’ll learn ya!

    • chris 22 September 2012 at 12:54 am Permalink


      I eat cheeseburgers for lunch motherfucker!!!

      Seriously…I love em’.

  5. Cheeseburger 22 September 2012 at 6:25 pm Permalink

    I don’t think the taxi driver would have read such an obscure website like the one you directed me too.

    He was just being nice and he must have wondered why you were acting so nasty for no reason.

    I asked you why and you seemed to talk down your nose to me as well, like you’re in some secret club of people who like to be rude and think it’s funny.

    I really think the taxi driver came off looking better than you in this encounter. Sorry, but I call them as I see them.

    • Locohama 22 September 2012 at 8:20 pm Permalink

      Well, maybe you think being on the butt end of japanese ignorant and offensive presumptions (womanizing foreigner) is friendly and complimentary but i don’t. And I do think that people that don’t get that are a little slow on the uptake (or pretending not to get it to get a rise outta me, which is what I thought of you…you have that “l’air du troll” all over you like a virgin on prom night). YOu presumed he was being nice?? And pretend not to get it?? Yeah right. And then you suggest I was the jerk. That’s why you got dismissed.

      And debito is hardly obscure. I’m much more obscure than him. The link wasn’t for the driver. It was for you (naturally) so you can read up.

    • chris 22 September 2012 at 10:47 pm Permalink

      “He was just being nice”

      Loco gotta have a tracker….and must know you’re not in Japan which is why he doesn’t just tell you to go masturbate to some manga porn you fucking goof.

      I hope your from England…Canada….please not America…we seem to be manufacturing genetic fuck ups like you at an alarming rate lately.

      • Locohama 23 September 2012 at 11:41 am Permalink

  6. Andrew in Saitama 23 September 2012 at 7:43 am Permalink

    Yep, I remember getting the “You must have a lot of girlfriends” crap back about a decade ago at N***.

    Why not just come out and say “You’re not one of us, so you must be a non-tax-paying womanizer. And you’re probably a criminal as well.”

    • Locohama 23 September 2012 at 11:09 am Permalink

      That was my read! How else can it be interpreted? Japanese certainly shun playboys and nanpa so why suggest I’m something your culture frowns upon? Did someone invoke the “M” word? lol
      I don’t get people that pretend not to get microaggression
      Thanks for the shout Andrew!

  7. mattn 23 September 2012 at 8:08 am Permalink

    Loco, you have the well deserved reputation of being a cool cat but please tell me that the picture above (with the two girls) was taken at a fancy dress party. Please tell me that you were dressed as Don Johnson circa miami vice, or even George Michael in early wham. I don’t think I can look at this blog the same way again if not.

    • Locohama 23 September 2012 at 8:22 am Permalink

      Lol. I was at the grand opening of the new pink cow in roppongi. They were spray on costume models and dancers. And Matt you’re welcomed to hate (-;

  8. Mattn 23 September 2012 at 8:38 am Permalink

    Ah cmon Loco I’m just teasing I just wish I had the balls to sport a white lounge suit!

    • Locohama 23 September 2012 at 8:48 am Permalink

      I know. And that’s just the instagram filter and available lighting. The shirt is peach and beige and pants are bige. I don’t do white (unless it has a nice rack and onion bottom) (-;

  9. Cheeseburger 23 September 2012 at 10:36 am Permalink

    You guys seem to get easily upset over nothing. The Taxi driver was just being friendly. But you could only look up from your iPad to say something corny and mean. You really need some work on your people skills. Communication is a big part of life in Japan and being a dick means you will only find it harder to get along.

    • Locohama 23 September 2012 at 11:13 am Permalink

      And what exactly did the taxi driver communicate to me?
      Oh, and you are in Japan, aren’t you? Then, how did Chris put it? “go masturbate to some manga porn you fucking goof.”
      Couldn’t agree more

  10. blondein_tokyo 23 September 2012 at 12:27 pm Permalink

    I’m usually asked “Do you like Japanese boys?” while being leered at. I never quite knew how to respond until I read a letter in the “Have Your Say” column that suggested the reply, “No, I don’t. I like Korean boys.” 🙂

    And yes, I will be extremely rude to someone who has the temerity to ask a complete stranger about their love life. Who does that??

    • Locohama 23 September 2012 at 1:22 pm Permalink

      lol I like to say “No, but I like Chinese Girls!” sometimes. Just to play with their predictable sensibilities. They never fail to ask why (with a bewildered tone like i’d said i like sodomizing zebras, followed by a glance over the head rest). And then I answer, “That’s why. That look you just gave me!”

  11. kamo 23 September 2012 at 1:58 pm Permalink

    Yes yes yes. That’s all very well. But are those two ladies in the picture with you just wearing bodypaint? That’s the real story here. Don’t let yourself get distracted by fripperies Loco 😉

    • Locohama 23 September 2012 at 2:00 pm Permalink

      lol! Yep, body paint and birthday suits! Gotta love art!

  12. T 24 September 2012 at 9:30 am Permalink

    Yes! It’s about time somebody got real out here in Japan! I like reading your blogs because you don’t hide how you really feel. You’ve actually inspired me to start blogging myself. Keep it real bro!

    • Locohama 24 September 2012 at 11:00 am Permalink

      It is my intention to do just that, T San! Thank you for the support! Good luck with your blog. Send us a link once you’re up and running. Need more voices of dissent out here in the land of “We, the exceptional people…admire our greatness, forgive our ignorance, and disregard our disrespect” and “the Japanese are handicapped children who don’t get it and shouldn’t have to so accept it with puckered lips or take your ass back to your own country”
      or something like that (-;

  13. Versatile 13 October 2012 at 2:40 pm Permalink

    I am an black woman living in montreal, canada, not Japan it’s a multicultural city yet I sometimes get those stereotypical comments from people

    I disagree with your reaction to the taxi driver.

    I am haitian, so other races and ethnicities here in montreal expect me to practice voodoo (never did in my life) eat rice with peas and be good at cooking it but I hate it, but it’s my personal opinion and experience that being negative about those comments will only affect you alone in the end and make you bitter, the oblivious person making the comments will go along their days without a care in the world , I think it’s better to just be honest, you could explain to taxi driver that it is a stereotype although some foreigners like Japanese woman I don’t have a preference or (whatever it is you prefer) and give him and example of Japanese stereotype which you found to be untrue as a you could take the occasion to broaden their views, instead of feeling hatred its too much bad energy hatred.

    And expecting everyone to be as smart as you and open minded is a loosing battle.

    I personally feel better getting out what I think about racist comments to the person who made it in a way that it calm friendly manner easy to understand to them. It instills respect and most of the time both of us leave the conversation smiling.(and the offending party a little smarter) and if the person doesn’t get what I am saying I tell myself at least I tried and who knows maybe what I said will have some impact later.

    Have Japanese people been unreceptive before when you tried to make them see that their stereotypical views were wrong?

    Anyway your blog is cool and informative, that was my personal feeling about your post, I don’t mean to troll,If you don’t agree with me let’s just agree to disagree!

    • Locohama 13 October 2012 at 5:02 pm Permalink

      Thanks for the shout V!
      Not trying to bring about the best outcome here. Just sick to death with having to exert myself on a daily basis. The ignorance here is at a level you in canada, frankly, can not imagine. It’s not one taxi driver. It’s most. It’s not some people, it’s most. So, while your advice might be suitable to someone experience this level and worst of ignorance periodically, it certainly does nothing for me. You’re preaching to the choir. If you’ve read my blog you know that…if not, check it out a bit more…
      I’m far from unaware of how to address ignorance. Just fed up with having to expend the energy. It’s like telling someone from some country where people spit on foreigners to express their curiosity, “please refrain from spitting on me…I know it’s a greeting to you, but to me it’s terribly unhygienic.”
      How many times can you say that, before you just start spitting back and saying “nice to meet you too!”?
      If you follow me…

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