07 February 2013 ~ 4 Comments

“Banning Blacks from Japan” to be Discussed at Upcoming Summit between Abe and Obama

PicMonkey Collage

Ummm…how should I put this?

If you’ve come here with the expectation that this headline is even within the realm of possibility, your ignorance is downright scary. Put down the remote or the manga, step away from the bong, pull yourself together and READ. A. BOOK. OR. NEWSPAPER. Ideally one with no pictures.

If you’ve come here with hopes that it might be true, you REALLY need to be shot. Please off yourself and make the world a better place for the rest of us. I’d be happy to oblige you (cuz you know how we black folk get down…we love smoking fools!) but I’ve given up McDonald’s, Japanese Chu-Hi, and smoking fools…my new years resolutions.

If you’ve come here because you live here in Japan and mistrust / distrust / never trusted the Japanese and think anything is possible with these homogenous xenophobes, even the arbitrary expulsion of a single race, well, it’s official, you’re paranoid and you ought to Seek. Professional. Help.

If you came here because you simply couldn’t believe your ears and wanted to learn why Loco would make a post with such a ludicrous headline, then welcome to Loco in Yokohama and read on.

Be warned: Absurdity ahead.


So, yesterday I received the following message on my Loco in Yokohama Facebook page:


I knew what it was with one read, I could even sense its mildly sinister nature, it’s potential to cause just what it has caused, but I blew it off. The link looked intriguing so I followed it to find that this “black person” had actually started a petition on the White House petition page.

Of course if you go through the White House petition archives you would come across petitions that would make this guy’s seem quite rational and feasible by comparison.

Anyway, after seeing the petition I had a good laugh…and thought my readers might be tickled at the stupidity of some of the Haters here in Japan as well, so I posted it on my blog.

However, the responses were disturbing. Many of which I’ve addressed with the remarks I made at the start of this post.

However, as ludicrous as it sounds…it is possible for there to be implemented some unsung race-based policy against blacks (meaning not only Americans but people from African countries and blacks from the African diaspora worldwide) of not renewing visas or denying applications for citizenship, etc… But you can bet your ass, it would definitely remain unsung. Japanese might be xenophobic and exclusive but, in general, they have better manners than to openly state such a thing…in mixed company, anyway. Besides I’d like to think that if such a thing were sung aloud the whole world would team up, as we did (most of us anyway) on South Africa to put an end to Apartheid.

But I could be wrong.

In the remarks I’ve read on twitter and Facebook to the petition, I felt an undercurrent of “he makes some valid if not interesting points” and “Perhaps our experience in Japan would be better if it weren’t for the people who scare Japanese and those people are usually black!” Though nobody said this directly (except for a couple of assholes) it was clear to me that some people had actually entertained this notion for longer than such a notion should ever be entertained. It made my bile rise, I gotta tell you, and reminded me of my initial impetus for writing my book: kHi! My Name is Loco and I am a Racist:

No, not Japanese racism, as most people like to presume (mostly without having read the book) but the racism among the foreigners living here…including but not limited to my own.

And I’m pretty damn sure that petitioner lives here, or did. And his clever ass is reading this and having a nice chuckle now at the discord he has sown. I want to ask him, like Brad Pitt asked John Doe in Seven, “When a person is a genius, as you clearly are, do you know that you’re genius? When you’re just sitting around, reading a manga version of “”The Art of War” and Crayon Shinchan, masturbating in your own feces, do you just stop and go, “Wow! It is amazing how fucking genius I really am!”?

And he damn sure isn’t black!

The self hate had me going for a second (a lonnnng ass second) but even black people don’t hates themselves as much as you made out. That was your flaw in case you’re wondering (though I wonder why that wasn’t clear to others, as well. Is that the general consensus, that black people walk around hating themselves beyond all recognition?) Anyway, your self hate was over the top.

Anyway, I’m going to now return to my previous position of ignoring trolls and leaving engaging them to people with more time on their hands.


PS. When I first visited the petition page there was one signatory. Now there are 2. Jesus Wept!


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4 Responses to ““Banning Blacks from Japan” to be Discussed at Upcoming Summit between Abe and Obama”

  1. Jenine 21 September 2013 at 3:25 am Permalink

    I tried looking for this actual petition of banning blacks from Japan on the petition section of whitehouse.gov, and I couldn’t find it. Throwing out something as ridiculous as this was the best thing the Obama Administration could’ve ever done.

    • Locohama 21 September 2013 at 3:45 am Permalink

      You are joking right?

    • Locohama 28 September 2013 at 12:49 am Permalink

      It was a joke, jenine. My sometimes snarky sense of humor at work.

      • Jenine 28 September 2013 at 7:37 am Permalink

        Oh, okay. Somehow I knew this was too good to be true.

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